Monday, December 31, 2007

In My Opinion

In My Opinion...
For What It’s Worth

I love dogs. Every young boy needs two things growing up: a puppy and a mother who will let him have one.

Actually, what a boy really needs growing up is a father and a mother who keeps him.

I hate monkeys.

I tolerate cats. Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

I know the words to "Louie Louie" but if I told you; first, we would both be embarrassed and then, I would have to kill you for the sake of national security.

Anything that tastes and smells as disgusting as broccoli is not intended for human consumption.

I don’t believe Harvey Oswald acted alone.

Oliver Stone’s interpretation of the 60’s is a self-serving, distorted nightmare that is an insult to those of us who were there.

I believe in global warming but it’s not my fault! Someone needs to tell Al Gore to check the carbon footprint of the sun.

Islam is not a peaceful religion!

Would someone please explain to me why people dress dogs in human clothes? I don’t get it. They look stupid. And so do the dogs.

I don’t understand why they stopped making ’56 Chevy’s.

Opra is not the Messiah and you can tell her I said so.

Did I mention that I hate monkeys who eat broccoli?

I believe in gun control; using two hands helps.

Life is not about me regardless of how hard I try to make it.

Kids are the greatest source of pleasure and pain imaginable. Sometimes the two are a short distance apart.

A woman is infinitely superior to a man…at being a woman.

A man is infinitely superior to a woman…at being a man.

Vietnam was not a bad idea until the politicians screwed it up. The grunts didn’t loose the war; the politicians did.

There is something worse than war…not having any convictions worth dying for.

Dinosaurs were so stupid that they ate each other into extinction. The last one standing starved to death.

Clean sheets are one of my favorite things and the source of a good nights sleep.

God created goats to eat weeds therefore; gasoline powered weed-eaters are from hell!

Sleep is a waste of good time but the older I get, the better it feels.

If anyone understood the movie Field of Dreams, please call and explain.

The early Beatles rule…most of their stuff after Yellow Submarine stinks.

Modern day comics who can’t tell a story without using the “f-word” are not funny but I still laugh at the Three Stooges.

The amount of misery one has in life is in direct portion to the number of mechanical things they are responsible to maintain.

Life hasn’t been the same since the Indians shot Gus (Augustus McCrae in Lonesome Dove, one of my favorite movies!).

I don’t like sad movies but I did cry in Ole Yeller and the Notebook.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Sonnet to 60!

Sonnet to Sixty
A Decade in Review
By Larry d. Wright

In 1997 I wrote an article entitled “Ode to Fifty” with the subtitle, “My Life in 500 words or less” which covered my life from birth to age 50. I guess that it is fitting that a decade later I write the follow-up which I have chosen to entitle, Sonnet to Sixty.

Hiked my first section on the Appalachian Trail, several more followed; daughter #3 left for college taking me to a new stage in life: they call me an “Empty Nester,” which is just a cute expression because they keep coming back. My wife got a cat. A new millennium began and Y2K didn’t introduce Armageddon as some prophets predicted but with two kids in college and one in law school, I failed to notice. In the words of “Guns N’ Roses”…“Welcome to the Jungle.” I had to constantly ask myself, “Are we having fun yet?”

The first year of the new century delivered a mixture of great pleasure and immense pain. I celebrated 30 years of an awesome and wonderful marriage with the person who is the best thing that ever happened to me next to Jesus. But the first year of the new millennium ended with horrific hurt. A brother in Christ, a Barnabas in the ministry and my best friend ended his battle with ALS and “stepped across a threshold into a spacious place, one he had only seen by faith, and his One Day Closer gave way to reality.” I whispered my last words in his ear “See you soon.” My written tribute to him said it all; “…But mostly for the companionship, the comradeship… truly, it’s a man thing. I am sharper because of you, friend.” (Proverbs 27:17) Still miss him!

Daughter #2 graduated from college; daughter #1 graduated from Law School; daughter #3 graduated from college. Hallelujah! I believe I can see the Promised Land! Short reprieve, then daughters #2, then #1 married in the same year, within 6 months of one another! Daughter #3 married 2 years later. Now the nest is really empty so we have a new nursery, a second den and lower utilities.

Buried another faithful four-legged friend in my back yard, which makes three (Pepper, Bama, Lou). My first grandson was born, reason for the nursery, and I discover the meaning of “grand” for the first time.

In 2007 I Celebrated 42 years in the ministry and 33 years as a pastor. I experienced my 30th trip to Kansas to hunt pheasants; my 3rd trip to Guatemala and my 1st trip to Africa to help save a nation. The vision for tomorrow is changing, so must I. God’s recent Word to me: “Don’t give up on revival. It will happen but look for something totally new. Don’t give up on the church. It will change but I am the same. So keep your eyes on Me.”

Ode to 50!

Ode to Being 50!

(My life in 500 Words or Less!)


First birth happened in Alabama, 1947...a loaf of bread cost 13 cents & gas was 15 cents per gallon! Found out much later that made me a Baby Boomer. Both parents came through the Great Depression and WWII with a simple goal: determined that I and my older sister would not have to endure the same hardships they experienced. Goal accomplished...we had a good life. Dad drove trains for a living...mom mostly stayed home...good childhood memories, no complaints, no horror stories. Born the second time in the 50’s, an experience that allowed me to discover my destiny. Remember where I was when JFK was shot...watched the Beatles on Ed Sullivan (still listen to oldies from that era). Graduated from high school...Vietnam was calling, it was the 60’s...went to Montgomery...flunked my draft physical (migraine headaches...a family thing). Grew up in a decade known as a time of rebellion on the college campus, dope, and easy sex, as David Crosby of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young said, “Anybody who says he clearly remembers the 60’s obviously wasn’t there.” I disagree. I remember the 60’s and they were some of the best times of my life. Attended a private college...didn’t go to Woodstock; married the perfect person for me in the 70’s, moved to Texas for graduate school, got my Master’s; returned to Alabama, became a pastor; started having kids...#1, #2, #3...all girls; trained my first Lab; started running...lost weight; started playing golf. Two awesome experiences helped mold me: Dothan...I Have Been In His Presence-He Is Lord and Suzy... “For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain..” Had my first article published in Home Life Magazine. Four decades have passed...my how time flies!

Mom died. Moved to my second church; bought my first house; stopped running, played golf...gained weight; became an adjunct professor at a local college; bought my first computer...learned to surf the World Wide Web. Dad died. Celebrated 25 years of a very good marriage; daughter #1 graduated from college, #2 graduated from high school; several more articles published.

Woke up one morning in 1997 and I was 50! Preached 32 years, pastored 23...3,450 sermons in two churches...1,500 sermons in 300 revivals over 25 states; 163 funerals...138 weddings. Written over 500,000 words under deadline.

50! So what is the big deal? Like Gus (Augustus McCrae in Lonesome Dove) was fond of saying, “The older the violin, the sweeter the music”. The only score that matters is the one at the end of the last half. God’s Word to me: “My son, I am your Lord...hear this: Your greatest accomplishment is yet to be”. I am excited!

Friday, December 28, 2007

Chasing Dead Dogs and Fleas

Chasing Dead Dogs and Fleas
By Larry d. Wright


Over the doorways of the great Gothic Cathedral in Milan located in Lombardy, northern Italy is engraved three inscriptions. Over the right-hand door there is this motto: ALL THAT PLEASES IS BUT FOR A MOMENT. Over the left-hand archway the words read: ALL THAT TROUBLES IS BUT FOR A MOMENT. Over the central door there is a simple sentence: NOTHING IS IMPORTANT SAVE THAT WHICH IS ETERNAL.

1 Samuel is an interesting and inspirational chapter if you read between the lines. Saul, the king of Israel whose throne is threatened by the brutal Philistines, chased David with insane madness. Eventually the Lord delivered Saul into the hands of David in a cave in the desert region of En Gedi but in an amazing twist of fate, the shepherd refused to slay the lion. The boy will not kill the bear. I find embedded in this chapter an amazing, and somewhat amusing, verse which is a sub-title in the main story line of the chapter. David asked Saul, “Against whom has the king of Israel come out? Whom are you pursuing? A dead dog? A flea?”
The question was both appropriate and appalling. David’s question is more than a statement of humility combined with an appeal for Saul to call off the hunt. It called a king to account for his time, talents and treasure. “Saul, what are you doing? You’re a mighty king. There are enemies camped at our border waiting to topple your throne, kill innocent people and overrun the nation. It makes no sense for you to waste your time and energy on the likes of a flea like me.”

Saul lost the focus that kings are indebted to keep. In chasing David from one rocky mountain top to the next ravine, from cave to cavern, he abandoned the priorities of a king. While his kingdom was in peril he engaged himself in a flea hunt!
The simple lessons in life are difficult to learn for both peasants and kings. Indeed, “All that pleases is but for a moment.” Obviously, Saul didn’t believe that or subscribe to the truth of a popular proverb, “There are no pockets in shrouds.” In just a short time Saul would be dead, not at the hands of David, but his real enemies, the Philistines. “All that troubles is but for a moment.”

David’s question halted a king and yet it still confronts a peasant like me: Christian, Whom are you pursuing? I am compelled to pray, “Lord, help me understand, Nothing is important save that which is eternal.”